I have/had a drinking problem, I’m well aware of my tendencies. However it’s not as bad as everyone thinks. A few weeks back I was going to see a therapist a few weeks back to work through somethings.
When she found out how often I would drink (every day starting when I woke up) she asked if I considered my self an alcoholic. I told her I would meet her in the middle and say I showed symptoms of alcoholism because I didn’t have withdrawal symptoms (like shaking or irritable )when I wasn’t drinking. She asked, “Well how do you know if you never stopped?”
That’s where it all started
I don’t like not having answers to questions about myself and that was one question I did not have an answer to. So two bottles later I decided to cut out drinking.
I was fine, I missed drinking. I was just going through the motions with work and I would come home. I didn’t want to really go out or talk to people. On the 2nd day, my manager came and asked me if everything was ok because I was being robotic. Of course, I told her I was fine I couldn’t tell her I was drinking at work.
The headaches start, they’re mild, you hardly notice them but they are there. It’s been pretty steady since the second day. Maybe I do have withdrawals… Also, my depression as came back and that wasn’t cool I couldn’t even blame it on me sobering up.
I woke up basically and I realized where my unhappiness came from. While I don’t have the most stressful life, my job is a large part of my unhappiness because there’s hardly any work-life balance. So I feel like I’m always there, with people who are ok, but I’m not necessarily looking forward to seeing any of them, ever.
I have made it my week! I set new goals found a new passion and calling and I’m on my way. I do miss drinking and thought when the weekend hit the first thing I was going to do was go to liquor store and chug a bottle. Instead, I woke up and meditated, I cleaned my whole apartment and I’ve been working out.
I’m not going to continue down this road of avoiding alcohol forever. I will drink but just limit it to a few days a week like the weekend. I do see how my mental state has improved. So again moderation and maybe not grab a drink first thing in the morning lol.
Edit: I just want to mention today I drank 2 glasses of wine, and I still got a headache. So maybe it’s not from withdrawals.