Ok, so I’m currently watching a short video about a girl losing her virginity and how horrible and unlike the movies it really is. I couldn’t help but reflect on my first time. Just like the girl in the video it wasn’t exactly what I expected. It wasn’t so much about the person but the experience.
Let me explain…
I was 14, I was already “active” so when I met this guy that was interested in sex little old me I hopped on him hard. Like I said I was 14 my parents never gave me the actual talk or like dating advice. I found out on my own, which means I made a lot of mistakes. This guy was older than me and I met him while skipping class in the hallway. To sum it up 3 months or so after I met him I lost my virginity to him. It wasn’t a romantic thing. I thought 3 months was an appropriate time because that’s what Joan from ‘Girlfriends’ said was how long you should make the guy should. So I did it.
I skipped school with this guy I barely knew. We were in his dirty room and it was beyond awkward. But it happened, we had sex and it was painful and I bled. I didn’t ask for him to stop because he told me it was supposed to hurt. I had no idea if that was true or not, so I continued. Afterward, I didn’t feel special, I didn’t feel happier, I don’t even think I climaxed. It was just over and done with like I just paid a bill. I felt nothing.
What I’m noticing that’s a common occurrence with a lot of women. When asked about their first time it’s never a salacious story about them sneaking off, or something overly romantic. It’s shockingly similar to mine. No sexiness in it, nothing magical just pain, blood and a bit of sadness. Is that all woman-hood is? It seems like no matter what we do down there we bleed.
I wonder why we all have these thoughts of our first time being romantic and special. I guess it’s something that the media shows us at a young age. Losing your virginity is supposed to be one of the most exciting moments in your life. It’s supposed to be special with the love of your life but most of the time it’s with the one guy you low-key cringe over. He was sly like a fox and just as quickly as he came into your life he left leaving you broken hearted. But that’s not the story Hollywood wants to sell to us. Sex is either madly romantic or dirty and kinky. For the young girls out here I want to tell you it’s not. Maybe if you’re lucky your first time is nice and gentle and you make love. But for most girls I’ve met, it’s not.
It’s not “men’s” fault completely. Most times you’re young and since it’s your first time you don’t really know what you’re like and they’re not skilled enough to really know how to please a woman.
I didn’t have passionate lovemaking like the movies until I was much older, and it was with someone very special. But like anyone will tell you finding someone you’re compatible with sexually or otherwise isn’t easy but it’s worth the wait.
What was your first time like? Let me know in the comments. Also, don’t forget to share and subscribe. See you next time!