I’m slowly coming to the conclusion I might not be a suave as I once thought. Maybe it’s the fact that the men are getting older or I’m starting to be a tad pickier. Once I passed through the phase where I was down for anything and everything, not setting up rules or boundaries I would find myself with a plethora of men. Now not so much. I blamed myself initially thinking my looks could be part of the problem. While that could be a factor for some it’s not for all and I think I now know why I am single.
I was talking with a guy a few months ago by the name of Derek. He was nice enough with a good job and always wanted to take me out for the most part. He did have kids about 3 and that was an issue for me. I have no interest in being a mother or having any part in a child’s life besides my nephews. I should have told him this from the start but no, I enjoyed our time and wanted to go for it. We ended up talking for about 4 months. Was it nice? It was ok nothing that swept me off my feet and nothing that made it seem as if I would change my mind.
In fact, anytime that I thought I was catching any kind of feeling for him I would remind myself that he did have kids and that doesn’t “work” for me. That’s what I’ll do I’ll snap my self back into reality but I won’t tell the other person. So it comes off that I’m hiding something and I’m not being 100% truthful, which I’m not. Not with them anyway. I end up talking to other guys going on dates with them than leaving it there. Either we drift apart or it ends up erupting.
In this case, we were talking for a while and but he would suddenly go ghost for like 3 days with no warning and hardly a believable reason. It happened multiple times and I was sick of it. This was one of those times and I really let him have it. I ended all with saying we’re really not together( I was wrapped back up in another guy, but more on that later) that I was single and so was he. I felt vindicated like I said my peace and maybe things would just continue on. I wasn’t sure but at least I said my piece. About a week or so later he decided to end communication and is currently talking to another girl. I know this because he messaged me about it. Telling me goodbye in a way.
I deleted the message and curled back up in bed. I guess that was that. My issue isn’t my looks when it comes to me being single it’s the fact that I can be very cold hearted and nobody likes a b*tch for too long.