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A little Bare or Full Bush

illustration by Laura Kennedy found on Irish Times

Since the 90’s it was pretty common for women to shave. It wasn’t normal/common before, but now it’s almost weird if you don’t. I’m not a huge shaver, it’s nothing political. I’m not taking a stance against the patriarchy with my pubic hair, I’m just lazy. If no one is going down there, why should I shave?

*Note: I shave my whoo-ha because as a sign of respect. I want you to partake in my forbidden fruit, I’ll give you a clean plate. I expect the same from them as well.

That being said since I’m coming out of hibernation and getting back on the scene(watch out fellas ūüėé ) I thought I’d celebrate my coming out with a shave. Its been a good 2 months since I set a razor upon my feminine flower but, why the hell not? So I shaved and honestly I miss the hair.

We have pubic hair because it helps prevent bacteria getting into the body, it cools you off by getting the sweat off of you, prevents friction in clothing and a whole bunch of other reasons. Within my 24hours without hair down there I can say this, it got really sweaty down there, like a sauna. It is so annoying, how I dealt with hit prior I don’t know

When I was unshaven though I was a lot more carefree. I didn’t feel anything itch and my fluids (like discharge, sweat, and that lovely blood) swishing around down there.

I just prefer hair. I will say though with it shaven my body is reacting in the way I thought it would. I’m horny again. I feel like doing more with my self aka not going out in the same leggings I’ve worn for almost 3 days straight and my hair is getting done. So is it really that bad?

Tell me your thoughts, do you shave? Or are you a 70’s babe rocking a afro? Let me know in the comments and don’t forget to share and subscribe

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The Coolest Thing Netflix Has Done #EVER: Black Mirror Bandersnatch

I couldn’t get into Bird Box I couldn’t. I could, however, get into Black Mirror. Netflix I really have to say you’ve outdone yourself with this interactive movie.

You remember those choose your own destiny books you read when you were little? Netflix turned it into a bloody show! I know all through out you choose the characters destiny.

The story is in the UK around the ’80s and focuses around Stephan a young ma who is creating a video game based off the book Bandersnatch. He’s also suffering from mental illness stemming from the tragic death of his mother.

The show starts off telling you how you choose the characters story and the commands. Then we start off hearing about Stephan’s life and d giving you the background story of Stephan. Soon you’re presented multiple choice options that influence the story’s outcome.

All these are possibilities and it’s up to you on what he does and who he becomes is all up to you. I freaking love it. I’m still watching it and I don’t want to give too much away, because there are only two options and if you choose mine and I really want you to watch this grown breaking show for yourself. It’s beyond amazing.

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What Happened When I Was Sober For A Week

I have/had a drinking problem, I’m well aware of my tendencies. However it’s not as bad as everyone thinks. A few weeks back I was going to see a therapist a few weeks back to work through somethings.

When she found out how often I would drink (every day starting when I woke up) she asked if I considered my self an alcoholic. I told her I would meet her in the middle and say I showed symptoms of alcoholism because I didn’t have withdrawal symptoms (like shaking or irritable )when I wasn’t drinking. She asked, “Well how do you know if you never stopped?”

That’s where it all started

I don’t like not having answers to questions about myself and that was one question I did not have an answer to. So two bottles later I decided to cut out drinking.

Day 1-2

I was fine, I missed drinking. I was just going through the motions with work and I would come home. I didn’t want to really go out or talk to people. On the 2nd day, my manager came and asked me if everything was ok because I was being robotic. Of course, I told her I was fine I couldn’t tell her I was drinking at work.

Day 4

The headaches start, they’re mild, you hardly notice them but they are there. It’s been pretty steady since the second day. Maybe I do have withdrawals… Also, my depression as came back and that wasn’t cool I couldn’t even blame it on me sobering up.

Day 5

I woke up basically and I realized where my unhappiness came from. While I don’t have the most stressful life, my job is a large part of my unhappiness because there’s hardly any work-life balance. So I feel like I’m always there, with people who are ok, but I’m not necessarily looking forward to seeing any of them, ever.

Day 6-7

I have made it my week! I set new goals found a new passion and calling and I’m on my way. I do miss drinking and thought when the weekend hit the first thing I was going to do was go to liquor store and chug a bottle. Instead, I woke up and meditated, I cleaned my whole apartment and I’ve been working out.

Conclusion

I’m not going to continue down this road of avoiding alcohol forever. I will drink but just limit it to a few days a week like the weekend. I do see how my mental state has improved. So again moderation and maybe not grab a drink first thing in the morning lol.

Edit: I just want to mention today I drank 2 glasses of wine, and I still got a headache. So maybe it’s not from withdrawals.

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On The Path Of Life I’m Turning Left

For a long time, as long as I can remember I’ve wanted to fit a mold. I wanted to be how everyone else was or thought I should look like. It was al I knew. When I was growing up it was in a “traditional” Christian¬†household, where you’re taught to keep quiet and follow suit. As I grew up however my family moved away and became less traditional. In this outside world I didn’t fit in at all, heck I didn’t even know what lipgloss was!

So when I met people and tried to find similarities¬†or just join in on the joke I didn’t know what I was doing and messed it up So I just slunk away, tried to blend into the background¬†and fit in. No, it didn’t work, but your girl tried and tried. Now, whenever I’m in a new situation¬†I just mimic, and it fails because it’s been done.

Old habits die hard huh?

Well after some much needed alone time,¬†self-reflection and moving away from everyone I ever knew and loved. Its safe to say I’m tired of trying to blend in especially¬†in a world where nobody really knows what they’re doing. I’m telling all of this I. Am. Changing.

I’m on a new journey, a new walk of life that just feels right, FINALLY and there’s no one to follow. Its a path that’s been calling to me for years and now I’m ready. I hope that you join me on this journey and learn¬†something about you too.

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1 Week Post Social Media Detox

It’s been a little more than a week since I first decided to do a social media detox (warm turkey method) and I have to say, it’s been ok.

I didn’t have a spiritual awakening that people say they do after purging from something everyone does.

So I know you want to know, what the heck happened. Honestly, not much and it was pretty great.

My best form is bullet so I’ll break it down.

  • I started working out regularly. Like every morning I woke up at like 6am , I didn’t get on my phone so I would just start my day. It was nice I ate breakfast everyday tended my plants work on my magazine it was nice.
  • I remembered the big picture. I would get so caught up on keeping my Instagram up and what other people were doing, I lost track of my life. So i got to put a few things in perspective that was nice.

  • I actually got more social. Besides just scrolling through the time line. I actually, get this, talked to people. I responded to my messages on time or within reason.
  • Lastly I ate less. I would love watching people cook online and would get soo hungry! I don’t know if I lost weight but my wallet was happy.

So that’s what happened after my detox, I think it’s better for me overall. I wonder for any of you guys try it? Or do you even want to?

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How I Quit Smoking For Good

 

I was a smoker for 8 years of my life. I can honestly say I enjoyed it. It was not only a social thing for me but it was relaxing.  I always came up with my best ideas when I smoked (or so I thought).

 

I don’t remember when they started but I started feeling the effects of smoking when I tried to take a deep breath I felt like there were little holes in my chest and it hurt, my right breast would ache and I would get nervous. Not to mention my skin would look dull, but I kept up my skin care so that wasn’t a huge thing for me. In fact, I didn’t notice how dull my skin was until I quit.

 

I can proudly say I have been smoke-free for¬† 8 months now, and I don’t even crave a cigarette. My key reason for stopping I stopped enjoying the smell and I felt like I had ashes everywhere!¬† I just got over it all and I feel better for it.

I wanted to show you how I quit so you if you are considering quitting it can help you. And no I’m not going to bore you with the health issues you already know them all.

Do it when you’re ready

I “quit” 3 times before I was really ready. I every time I told my self I was quitting I would throw out my cigarettes so I wouldn’t be tempted to grab one in a moment of weakness. You’ll quit either you’ll do it willingly or not.

When You’re Ready,¬†Take Baby Steps

When I would relapse and buy a pack I always took out about half and throw them out the window when driving back to my flat. So at least I was smoking less.

You Don’t Have To Tell People

Every single quitting help book tells you to tell people you’re¬†quitting because they’ll support you yaddi ya. When I did tell people I was quitting I always felt like I was being watched which stressed me out, or I felt shame along with the people I told now nagging me about how good I was doing. My longest period of nonsmoking was when nobody knew about it.

Try Taking Long Breaks, 4-5 days

My biggest triumph was when I ran out of cigarettes and I couldn’t get another pack. So I had to wait.¬† When I did get a pack and pulled out my cigarette to smoke I expected the first inhale to be that euphoric feeling I usually have. Instead, it tasted like dry ash. I still smoked it though.

Listen To Your Body Not Your Mind

When I was on my last pack I had to make myself go smoke. My mind would remind me that I had a pack of cigarettes but when I tried to smoke my body would tense up and my taste buds hated it. Only my brain wanted it so I told myself no, and I had to keep my mind busy. So take up a hobby.

Tell Yourself You’re A Quitter

The best advice I ever got to stop smoking was from an app called Stop Smoking in Two Weeks. They have a lecture section that said “Once you decide to quit and you smoke your last cigarette, you’re a not a smoker anymore. No matter what they say no matter if it’s been a day or 3 years You quit” I paraphrased a bit but you get the idea. Don’t let people tell you it’s only been a week or a day. You quit¬†and that’s it.